Rewind

INDUCTION SCHEDULED

After much anticipation, Little Robby's due date (August 2nd) finally came!..... and went. The following day, I had an appointment with my doctor. I saw her at about noon. She checked me and said I was barely dilated to a 2 and was 60 percent effaced and softened and thinning. I had been having some cramps that day, but mostly just discomfort. So, she said she could either induce me the next day (Tuesday, August 4th) or Saturday. She was excited that she would actually be around to deliver my baby, since she had been out of town until the previous day. I said I'd just assume do it sooner! So, it was set. I was going to have my baby tomorrow! I was excited but nervous. Part of me was kind of relieved to just know I was coming in tomorrow and not to have to try to guess when to go to the hospital. But part of me still worried...... what if something happens before then? How do I know when it's time to go to the hospital???

Well, as the day progressed, I made sure my bag was packed, finished some last minute projects and proceeded to make a celebration dinner for my last night before little Robby's arrival. The cramps continued throughout the day.... gradually becoming more intense. As my mom and I were finishing making dinner, the cramps had gotten quite painful and I was sure those were contractions. I made it most of the way through my plate of food before I got hit with one contraction that drove me to leave the table and go lay on the couch. It was about 7 pm at that

point.

CONTRACTIONS

After a couple of hours of timing contractions (that were ranging anywhere from 9 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart) my dad suggested we just head to the hospital. (He was still out in Utah. But, he is a doctor and I'm always bugging him with my medical questions.... we had called and asked when exactly I should go to the hospital). The worst they could do was send me back home and I'd just go back in the morning to be induced. At this point the contractions were pretty intense, so I was hoping they wouldn't just send me home and make me go through this all night! So, we got to the hospital around 9ish... I'm not exactly sure. And, they decided to keep me there when they checked me and I was dilated between 4 and 5 centimeters.

So, NO INDUCTION AFTER ALL!

EPIDURAL

So, they put me in room 7 (7 happens to be my favorite number, by the way) and there they hooked me up to monitors and proceeded to get me ready for the night's events. I was surprised how pretty much as soon as I was hooked up and everything, the nurse asked if I wanted to get an epidural and said I could go ahead and get one as soon as the IV put enough fluid in me. I was expecting to have to wait many hours and endure many more horrible contractions before I could get the epidural! However, while I was relieved to have the pain eased soon.... I was

actually a little nervous. The thing I had most dreaded about labor was getting the epidural. The thing that worried me most was having to hold still while they did it! As the nurse explained the procedure, she said "They are usually pretty fast. You'll just have to hold still through a couple contractions is all." Hold still THROUGH the contractions? Now that I was actually in labor and noticed that my way of coping with contractions was to move around a lot..... now I was even more worried about trying to hold completely still while they stuck that big needle in my back!!!!

But... not worried enough that I was going to opt out of getting the epidural :)

A MIRACLE

So, as I sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over as the anesthsiologist prepared my back for the proceedure... I silently prayed (and begged) that I would be able to hold still. I was apparently so focused on waiting for a contraction to come (and on my begging) that I didn't even realize when she actually put the needle in or anything. All I remember was at one point she asked me, "Are you having a contraction right now?" I was confused at the question.... why was she asking me that? Obviously I wasn't or it would be obvious. After stopping and paying closer attention for a few seconds I responded, "Uhhh.... no... I don't think so." Strange.

Then, next thing I knew, she was done. As I began to marvel at the fact that I hadn't had a single contraction the nurse chimed in,

"Wow, you did great! You had two really strong contractions right in a row while she was doing that!"

A little miracle? I think so...

So, there I lay, glad to have an epidural and surprised at how those contractions quickly faded to nothing more than a peak on the monitor.

And there Steve sat.... tired? Or nervous?

Not sure... perhaps a little of both.

DELIVERY

The next few hours consisted of me trying (not very successfully) to get some rest (by orders of the nurse, who suggested I would need all the energy I could muster for the events that would be coming), Steve sleeping (evidenced by his snoring) on the floor, and my mom trying to snooze on a chair in the room.

The next thing I really remember was that I started to be able to feel a lot of pressure. The nurse checked me and said I was nearly all the way dilated... I told her I felt like I needed to push, but she said I needed to hold off a little until that last little bit dilated. I know the doctor broke my water at some point... I'm thinking perhaps that was before all the pressure. It is all kind of jumbled in my mind at this point.

Anyway, it was starting to get REALLY uncomfortable (almost painful) trying NOT to push!!!

Finally, she checked me and said we were good to go.

PUSHING

I think it was a little before 4a.m. when I started pushing. The baby's heart rate had been good the whole time and continued to be so. The main things I remember about pushing were 1) feeling like my head was going to explode from holding my breath and 2) wishing I could push with each contraction. The doctor said I was having strong contractions too close together, so she wanted me to rest through some of them.

I knew he was about to come out when the doctor said to just give a small push (I had seen that many times on TLC's "A Baby Story").

It was 4:30 a.m.

And here came little Robby....

SOMETHING IS WRONG....

I saw Steve start to cry as I felt the pressure go away (and I assumed Robby was out). I didn't have the rush of happy emotion I had imagined I would have. Instead, a wave a fear rushed over me as they layed the limp body on my chest.

"Is he okay? Shouldn't he be crying? Why isn't he moving?"

They assured me he was fine. But, as they had Steve quickly cut the cord and they suctioned his mouth and nose, I could tell they weren't being completely truthful.

Still no crying. Just a little limp baby staring up at me with big eyes.

They quickly took him away and called in a team of people.

I am not sure how long the next series of events lasted or the exact details of what happened. I just lay there on the bed pleading over and over

"Please, please, please... please... please...."

He couldn't die now. Not after everything. Would God really let me get this far and then let him die?

"Please please please please....."

Steve went over to watch what the team was doing. My mom stood by me trying to comfort me and assure me everything would be fine. But, I could see on her face that she was just as scared as I was.
"Please...... please please.... please......"

.........TO BE CONTINUED...........

The First 3 Weeks

Little Robby Toller

Robert Michael Toller joined us on August 4th at 4:30 a.m. He came on his own-- no induction, no c-section (though mom did get a much appreciated epidural). Stay tuned for more details on the events of his delivery.

5 DAYS LEFT!

For details on our status, check out the Toller Tot blog.

(find the link on the right of this blog)

Almost there!

Utah

May 27th to June 16th

How nice it was to be able to spend a few weeks out in Utah.

I was reminded of how much I love the mountains......

(this was the view from my parent's house one day after it rained)

We had lots of good times while we were out there.

May 30, 2009

(31 weeks pregnant)

My mom and Steve's mom threw a baby shower for me. It was mostly family memebers. I knew this was a good chance for family members to see Steve as well, so I wanted him to at least be at his parent's house during the shower.

A few of Steve's good friends and their wives were also invited. So, Steve, his brothers, and his pals hung out down stairs most of the time-- after getting plenty of the tasty food from up at the shower, of course.

It was a fun day and we appreciated the support from so many people!

June 4th/5th

(can't remember the exact day)

One of the days while we were there, we rode the Front Runner (a train) down to Salt Lake City with Steve's mom.

We met up with Steve's sister Liz, her husband Justin, their cute little girl Rylie and, also, Steve's brother Jared who works in Salt Lake City. We all had lunch together at a fun gourmet burger restauarant.

Good times.

June 10, 2009

(32 1/2 weeks pregnant)

These are Stephanie and Cami.

These gals were my best friends from junior high on up. We haven't seen each other much over the past years, but I still consider their frienships very special. I am not very good at keeping in touch... but, as Cami said on her blog, it seems that even after we haven't seen each other for a long time, we can always pick up right where we left off.

Cami, Stephanie, and Lori (Cami's sister-- also one of my good friends) threw a shower for me. We were all in the same ward all through my teen years. So, this shower included all the ward members.

Check out the cute little scrubs and doctor toy set that Lori gave me!

Now Little Robby can be a little med student like Daddy!

Thanks so much for the fun shower!!! They went all out with an awesome chocolate fountain with everything you could possibly think of to dip in chocolate (and some things I'd never thought of)!

June 11-13, 2009

(33 weeks pregnant)

The last weekend we were there we went camping with my family.

We went to a beautiful campground called Smith and Moorehouse.

And this, my friends, is how we camp.

Roughin' it in the trailer.

Enjoying the great outdoors.....

Unfortunately, despite my brother Chris's determination, he never did catch a fish.
Steve was the only one who caught anything.
But, as my little brother Jordan kept saying "I don't mind if I don't catch anything.... it is just so peaceful to be out here."
It was very beatiful.



On the last morning, Steve and I and my parents did a little exploration and found our way down to the river. Here we are once we made our way back up.

(Thanks, Dad, for keeping us balanced so we didn't roll back down the hill!)

And thanks for the fun camping trip.

Our Utah trip also consisted of Sunday dinners with family, a trip to Idaho where my aunt Dana threw me a little baby shower, lots of relaxing, seeing old friends, helping my parents get their house ready to sell, and gaining 6 pounds (that was me, not Steve).

We had a great time and it's always sad to say good bye to family. But, I was kind of excited to get back home to Toledo and start getting everything ready for the arrival of our baby!

Only 4 weeks until he's due!

Stay tuned.....

Baby Shower, Farewell Neighbors, and off to Utah!

Friends in our Toledo ward threw a little baby shower for Little Robby and I on Saturday, May 23rd. Great company, great food, and a fun time!

Check out my baby blog for more pictures and stuff about the shower!

(There is a link off to the right of this blog that will take you to my Toller Tot blog)

Our upstairs neighbors, the Snows  , have graduated from medical school and will be moving on to Columbus for residency. They have been such great neighbors. I'll miss being able to go up and chat with Jenny and Jake. We will miss our little pal Madison coming down to visit. We'll miss hearing her out in the halls saying "Steve and Jenni?"  I'm sure we'll even miss the patter of her feet on our ceiling! The Snows left for a trip to DC and unfortunately we'll be on a trip to Utah when they return and they will move to Columbus the day before we get back to Toledo. So, this past Sunday was our last time seeing them. It was sad to see them go.

Good luck in Columbus old neighbors! 

Steve and I are now in Utah where we will be for nearly the next three weeks.  We are excited to have time to visit family and friends out here before I get TOO far along in my pregnancy.  Just over 9 weeks left until our Little Robby should be joining us!!!