Just when I thought MY life was rough...

It seems whenever I start feeling like my trials are too much for me to handle... I get an awakening and realize that my problems really aren't that bad.

This evening I received a call from my parent's house. Several things about what I heard on the other end of the line caught me off guard. For one, my dad doesn't just call me that often. Second of all, my dad sounded very... urgent, almost frantic.
"Jen, it's dad. I have to tell you something......"
Then came the sobbing. And my dad doesn't cry often. Several terrifying thoughts ran through my head..... something happened to mom...... or one of my brothers.... maybe Grandpa died......
"Brantly commit suicide."
I had to sit down. This couldn't be real.
"He shot himself. Depression...."
I tried think of some way this could just be a sick late april fools joke. But, I knew it wasn't.

My 18 year old cousin Brantly commit suicide today. You never think of those things really happening.... they are just stories..... until someone close to you does it. I still keep thinking I'll wake up and find it was all a dream..... a nightmare. But when I convince myself this is reality.... I feel physically ill....
My extended family is all very close. We aren't one of those families that dreads getting together with the aunts and uncles and cousins and doesn't know anyone's names. We have close relationships... some of my best friends are my cousins. Brantly was the oldest son of my Dad's brother-- a really GOOD kid. So nice. Really shy and quiet for the most part, yet friends with everyone. He's one of those people who'd never done a bad thing in his life. I never would have imagined......... I can't even imagine what my aunt and uncle are going through right now.... My prayers are with them and the rest of the family.

I just hope that YOU (anyone reading this) never feel low enough that you think you need to take your life. Depression is a hard thing. Believe me, I know.... I've taken medication for it before myself. And I don't think anyone should ever feel like there is anything wrong with taking medication or seeking help for depression. It is real. It is hard. And if you let it go too far... it can be devastating..... I don't judge Brantly for doing what he did. Who knows what he was going through.... I just don't ever want to see another friend or loved one come to such extremes......